Empty, Empty, Bo-Bempty

I am sitting here at worship practice...and oh joy is it the most fun I've had in years?! NO!

Well, I BROKE up with Core for GOOD on Sunday. And I'm sure I crushed him to death...which would explain the look tonight. It's so weird though. He must feel so....shitty. I mean, here I am, his ex girlfriend-the girl he loved and wanted to marry-lookin fiiiine and he's got...nothing. I dunno. In some parts of me I want to rub it all up in his face...I want to squish it in so bad that he can't breath. But why? I dunno. Bitterness? Why? I haven't got much to be bitter about.

Then I wonder..what if he doesn't feel like shit? What if he's over it...like I...am? Was I really all that he made me out to be? Was I his everything? Was I really as wonderful as he said I was....did he really love me that much? In a way I hope not, but in another I surely hope so...because of all the shit we went through. WHICH is another thing. I was thinking about how old he is. How old he was when we first slept together. When we almost had a child. HA...like what the fuck was I thinking?! SERIOUSLY! *beats self up*

Besides, I went out with Mark last night. HA! What now....*sigh*....I bet he's just trying to be nice. I'm gonna be alone forever. ha....not that I mind...guys seem to make life shittier.

Ughhhh I'm so EMO!!!!!!!!! Emo I tell you.....

Oh and good news about previously mentioned girl: we're talking again, she apologized and justified herself...and we talked and stuff..it's all good...poor girl. I'm such a douche sometimes.


Yup...