Scared and Lonely

Alright...my disclaimer on this blog entry is this:

****highly selfish and smoothered in self-pity****

So, any of you who read my last few blog entries know that I broke up with Core last night. And since then I've felt empty and numb. Comfortably though. Well, tonight I've been cleaning my room and with it came so many memories of us...the first teddy bear he gave me, the songs that we loved to listen to together, the games we would love to play...the first note he wrote me (and a love note at that)...oi...so the whole time I was trying to worship and trying to just give it all to God, which has done okay thus far...but now other things are starting to creep up...like:

-my Holy Spirit Retreat paper, which I cannot, for the life of me, concentrate on.

-all of my school work:

-The Glorious Disturbance book + questions (est 5 hours)

-Major Research Paper on Euthanasia

-Got my last Paul midterm back today...17/30...freaking...shoot me.

-Book Report on The Normal Christian Life (which I can't afford and it's due Mon)

-My Accountability Reports...and 10 journal and 10 sermon notes

-THEN there is my Modular Post Course work:

-Read Wired for Ministry

-Write a sermon on the parable of the Ten Virgins

-Join my sermon together with Davida and Joy's sermons and make a large church schedule as well as a poster...

And the Christmas banquet is coming up...oi vey....if I kill myself ever in my life...it will be tonight or in the near freakin future....now sounds great.